July 3, 2018
Reflecting on Childhood Joys and Adult Realizations
Things are so different now. I often wonder how I got here. Life unfolds through a strange series of events, bringing us to where we are at this very moment—whenever we take the time to reflect on it.
Double Dutch, hopscotch, Girl Guides, manhunt, grounders, water gun fights, staying up past bedtime feeling like a rebel, bike rides to the candy store, slip and slide, walkie-talkies, and hide and seek. Midnight trips to the main beach, mesmerized by the lights, the music, and the people enjoying themselves.
Back then, we all couldn’t wait to grow up, to be part of the excitement where true joy seemed to reside. But as we grow older, the excitement quickly fades. We realize that much of that “excitement” was people trying to escape, running from who they had become and the childhood they left behind. They blocked out paths and opportunities, using substances and distractions as excuses for why they weren’t good enough, settling for less.
We medicate and distract ourselves because deep down, we know we have the potential for so much more, even miracles. Yet, the sheer volume of possibilities, thoughts, words, and lessons is overwhelming. The infinite opportunities and achievements, the expectations without guaranteed rewards, and the fear that our minds might betray us can be paralyzing.
How could knowing our extraordinary potential, while feeling stuck and unsure how to harness it, not drive us mad? Maybe that’s why we all carry a bit of madness within us. To some degree, we all have a touch of insanity.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Marianne Williamson
The Turning Point: Discovering the Power of the Mind
I have many more dark journal entries documenting my slow descent into what could have been madness before I discovered the power of our minds. I learned that with a little belief and consistency, we are capable of almost anything. We can train our brains to think the way we want, and with this knowledge, I began immediately to avoid wasting another year in a state of spiritual numbness, merely surviving amidst misery and chaos.
I had no control over my emotions or my thoughts. I was a slave to the negative thoughts that plagued my mind. I dwelled on them, constantly convincing myself that things would never improve, and so they didn’t.
But once we start focusing on what we wish to have and how we want to feel, instead of what we lack and how awful things seem, life becomes so much easier.
To see the dark journal entries before the light click here.
If you are stuck in the dark please check out this section of the site in order to find that light again. You deserve it.
