Life isn’t all beer and skittles.. or so my calendar told me on the 8th of February when I was about 19 years old and going through some rough times to say the least.
I used to use my bad experiences life had thrown at me as an excuse for why I was miserable and would never be able to amount to much in this life.
I told myself I got myself into a rut that started as a small snowball but would only continue to grow as the years rolled on, collecting with it all the darkness and misery this life has to offer. I convinced myself being a miserable specimen dragging myself through each day was all there was waiting for me in the future.
That was all until I started reading about the power of our minds and the power of a perspective change. Instead of dwelling on the “what if’s, should have’s or could have’s” things I had no control over, I started focusing on how good the outcome would be once I had the thing I desired at the time. Like a job for instance. I thought of it as if it was already mine to take and I started thinking about how much better life would be once I was making my own money, saving for my future. I stayed positive as if the outcome was already in my favour.
With practice I was able to train my mind to have optimism as a default mode opposed to negativity and self-doubt.
When I started noticing that the more I focused on the positive outcome that could arise in specific scenarios in my life, the more I realized these positive outcomes coming into fruition for me.
When I reflected on all the times I had such a negative view point, I questioned if it was solely my fault as to why things kept going poorly for me.
I would go to get-together’s telling myself it was going to suck and that I couldn’t wait to get it over with. These events did suck for me but solely due to my own doings. I was giving off a negative energy the whole time, avoiding any small talk or activity simply because I just wanted to get it over with. I was unapproachable and not a fun person to be around. I seemed miserable and stuck up as if I was too good to be in the company of the other people there. I would go home afterwards to sulk about how no one liked or understood me; blaming everyone else for why I couldn’t make authentic connections with anyone.
Of course sad things happen to us all, life is full of misfortunes and discomforts but how we decide to allow these things to affect us is on us. We could decide to live our whole lives in self-pity, convincing ourselves that the world owes us something or we can get up and make it happen for ourselves just as all the other people out there who are truly enjoying everything life has to offer, has done for themselves.
Truth is.. everyone has got a sad story, either make it your excuse or your motivation!
This is just a quick post to reflect on how much I have changed over the years. I no longer wake up with dread, counting the hours of the away so I could be alone at home again, secluding myself with my comforts like snacks, drugs, alcohol, my bong, useless tv programs and fiction novels. Anything to escape this world.
I am so happy that I could wake up now in a different light because I couldn’t imagine if I’d even make it this far if I continued to spiral down the negative road in my mind I was travelling. My goal really is just to show others that life does not have to be as dull as you may think it is right now. I hate knowing there are young kids, teenagers or young adults.. or anyone for that matter feeling the way I used to feel on the daily. I just want to help anyone I possibly am able to and that is why I put together this website in the first place.
The people who have reached out to me telling me I have helped them in ways puts a huge smile on my face and what drives me to keep doing this despite the lack of visitors I have. I do hope to publish a book that is in the works right now. A book I am hoping that will help people all over the world who are going through anything close to what I went through. The one’s who find it so hard to find even a sliver of drive to get out of bed in the morning. I promise with all my heart it doesn’t always have to be like that guys.
Until I do publish my book I hope this website is able to something positive for the people who need it. Please check out the Power of Mind category to find how I have found my way. Also if you want to see some of the journal entries from the dark space I was in in the past please check out the Dark Journal Entries category or even the Abuse and Addiction category.
Thank you for reading and take care for now!
