Masked Honey

you can create a palace in your mind instead of that prison you feel locked in
let us show you how

What Did I Bring Into This World?

It was a wicked downpour, the one small umbrella I owned, the only thing shielding Dala and I from the storm. I opened it halfway inside the cab so it wouldn’t be so much of a hassle once we went off into the wretched weather, once again. Our clothes mostly soaked, our shoes with small puddles, making squishy noises as we walked.

It’s been a hell of a day and I for one could not wait to be in warm ambience of our apartment, despite how small and unfurnished it was, it was home, it was comfort. All I needed after a day like today. I’m sure Dala would say the same. We haven’t talked much since this morning. We both could read each other enough to know words were not permitted during this time. Plus there were no fitting words to specify the emotions we have been trying to sweep under the rug.

The cab pulled up a half a block past our apartment building, as I shouted for him to stop as he ignored me and idled along. A car parked behind us, too late to reverse. I didn’t want to wait, I wanted to be at home.

“Let’s go Dala, take the umbrella I’ll be fine.” I passed her the umbrella, paid the man his fare, opened the door and covered my head as best as I could with my fall coat. It did nothing other than stop the rain from soaking my neck immediately. It seeped in either way.

We ran towards the front doors of our apartment, I fumbled with the code pad for a half a minute before we entered the warmth of the lobby. The heat blasting through the vents in between the entrance to the building, smacks us in the face and we feel instant release. The cabbie had no heat on, said he got overheated. As we sat in the back shivering our asses off, no tip for that asshole. Shitty end to our already unfortunate day.
I took the umbrella from Dala, and we headed up the elevator to our fourth floor apartment. She was shivering so bad, I held her close in the elevator hoping my body heat could warm her even just a little.

My poor Dala, I could tell she was suppressing her emotions. She felt so much right now, but didnt know how to even begin expressing the spiraling thoughts and feelings so she shut them out. Like she always does.
I unlocked the door to our apartment, the cats greeted us as we hung up our soaking coats and stripped to our draws at the door. Taking our sopping clothes off was such a relief.
Now to distract ourselves some how for the rest of the evening in attempt to forget, if only for a little while, the events of today.

We changed into pajamas and robes because we still had the shivers. I made us an expresso shot because I felt we both needed a little jolt of energy. We were emotionally and physically drained but it was too early to go to bed. It was only 5:15pm. We would have an earlier dinner, if at all and distract ourselves until it was late enough to go to bed. Sleep was the best distraction.

After the espresso I poured us both a glass of well-needed Merlot. Full glass for the both of us.
“Honey, do you have much of an appetite? I can whip us up something now quick or we can wait, what do you think?”

“I dont think I’ll have much of an appetite at all tonight but I know I’ll have to eat. Especially putting all this wine into my body. I’ll be drunk as a skunk.” She finished half of her glass already.

“Okay hon, what’re you thinking?” I opened the fridge and pantry to see what we had.
“I can make a mean mac and cheese. Or we have some left over veal I didn’t cook from the other night because we got a bigger chunk of it this time. Plus we have some Ciabatta buns left, I could make us veal sandwiches. Oh and we have some cabbage and iceberg left, I could make us that salad you really like. With the olives, feta and chopped prosciutto?”

“Baby, like I said, I have just about no appetite but have to eat. So I want something light please. Maybe just some focaccia bread, grilled crostini if we have any and whatever meats or cheese we got going on in there.” The melatone tune to her voice was saddening. Forced to eat as if it was a chore? That was so unlike Dala. Although a health nut, and persistently on top of her weight, she loved her food.
“Okay sweetie, give me a few minutes to whip something up for us. Maybe you could find something for us to watch in the meantime?” I filled up her glass of wine and headed to the kitchen to see what we’ve got going on in the meat and cheese department.

I sliced some Salami, Andouille sausage, pork Pate, and some prosciutto. We had a bit of burrata, some mozzarella and ricotta salata so, I cut some of that to add to the tray. And heated up some focaccia bread with extra roasted garlic just how Dala likes it. I added grilled Crostini, some kalamata olives, cherry tomatoes and some almonds.

We ate in silence while watching a re-run of Crime watch Daily. The last thing we should be watching right now probably, but Dalla put it on so I didn’t say a word. She didn’t need anything to further damper her mood.

We would spend most of the night in silence, and I presumed the next couple days not much words would be spoken between us. The house already feels empty without him and I know Dala felt the same. We did spend all day yesterday getting rid of anything that may remind us of him. Not getting rid of necessarily but placing out of sight for now, at least. If it was for me everything would be gone. I want to forget.

Dala will never forget, and never stop reminding me, I know. If it was for her, Joao would still be here. If he stayed, her and I wouldn’t be here much longer. The kid was a devil. I’m not scared of much in life, especially with my line of work being what it is, but that kid made the arms on my hair stand up. Tonight will be the first night since he was born that I feel safe going to sleep in my own home.

Dala gave birth to Joao three months after our marriage, five years ago. The kid almost killed her on his way out and has never been anything short of a monster since. He found entertainment in terrorizing us, and almost killed Dala, on more than one occasion. The kid is pure evil, part demon, part human. This is why I knew he had to go, there was no grooming him into being a normal boy like most. Dala never knew this because she never knew my true nature. And there is no need for me to ever tell her, because I am now in the position to be able to control the inner demon. I presumed that Joao would be able to do the same, better than me even because he was part human. I tried having the talk with him but it’s almost as if he got worse once he knew who he was, and the power he had.

I’ve decided to leave my Realms two hundred and forty seven years ago to join the human species, to become one of them. Although, selfish, close-minded, and arrogant at times, humans are nothing compared to demons. I truly felt I was meant to be here on earth, I am more like human than I am serpent, I’ve never regretted my decision. And in all my years here, Dala has been the best part of my journey. I almost forgot who I was for a couple years. She makes me feel so human, so real. I assumed bringing a kid into the world would be okay now. That things had changed. Plus I wanted to share this experience with her so badly, I wanted to be the man to make her a mother.

Today, we spent the day traveling to South Carolina to bring Joao to some of the men who came to earth with me all those years ago. I have no clue what sort of business they are involved in expect that it involved the dark web and epinephrine drug they say? I didn’t care enough to do any research, they told me they would take care of Joao and take him under their wing, that was enough for me.

Dala thinks of these men as good friends, they come around here and there but I always have them on speed dial in case I have a question in need of answering. I still haven’t figured this whole thing out, and they have been around longer than I, my superiors if you will. So, when I told Dala that my buddies would take care of the situation, she allowed it after my careful manipulation tactics.

I’m not sure what it is they are going to do with him, but I don’t really care either. I am not in fear for him, for I think he can out power any of these buddies of mine. And he is only five. The kid is a nightmare, good riddance.

It will be a while, if ever, that we get back to normal but I need Dala to have that light back.. The one before Joao. He constantly broke her heart. She wanted so much for him, she wanted him so bad. She was the best mother. I’ll have to tell her we can never try again, but now is not the time.

Now is the time, to enjoy the mini sandwiches we make with the bread and cheese, and wash it all down with a bottle of wine each before climbing into to bed and forgetting, for a little while, the events of today.