So, today was an eventful day to say the least. Probably got myself into more “trouble” than I had to but if you know me, you know how much I hate ignorant people therefore, no matter the situation or time of day, I will speak my piece when someone speaks out of place. Although a lot of people would argue and have told me on multiple occasions that it is none of my damn business.
I’m sorry, but in my mind if you act out of place in a public setting (which is anything along the lines of doing something most people would call a “normal” person, wouldn’t do) then I am going to speak my mind. I guess it depends on the situation but when it comes to helping someone in an abusive relationship, I will do my best. Today for example: I seen a young couple about my age let’s say, maybe a little older, 26-27. They were shopping at the flea market around 3, same time I was there searching for my favourite spicy pepporette sticks. The flea market has a fresh meat stand so I go here whenever it’s open on Sundays to grab my stash for the week. I don’t purposely watch people, but these two caught my eye real quick.
The girl was so petite, so feminine looking, blonde hair, green eyes, full lips, and I can say she had one of the prettiest faces I’ve ever seen. The male, a few inches taller than her, dark hair, dark eyes, and a hard demeanor. I’m not sure why they drew my attention but I knew that they intrigued me.
They were looking through the featured produce as a man with a golden retriever was walking by and the girl did a little skip and a small sound of joy released from her lips as she went over to see the dog. She seemed like a little girl getting her first puppy, it was so pure and innocent. Her boyfriend grabbed her by the wrist before she made it over to the dog and I heard him try to whisper to her through gritted teeth not knowing how loud he actually was. “What are you doing skipping off to another man like a whore? Look what you are wearing, what impression do you think you’ll give off skipping like a school girl in a dress like that? Have some common sense.”
Her dress was cottage style, white with small yellow flowers, frills around the t-shirt sleeves and collar, and it went down about 5 inches past her knees. Plus she was wearing a cover over it and nylons… real “whore” like.
The girl lost her smile real quick, lowered her head and went back to the produce they were searching through. He whispered something else to her which I couldn’t hear but by the look on his face I can tell it wasn’t a nice thing.
Right off the bat this guy flagged me as an aggressive boyfriend. I became nosy real quick and stayed close to the couple. They purchased some produce and then headed off towards a vendor selling little knick knacks, pocket knives, watches, and other random junk it looked like to me. The blonde girl looked disinterested as her boyfriend tried on watch after watch asking for her opinion on each.
I stood about 10 feet away as I rummaged through a table stacked high with old books. I read a few of the back covers and then I heard the guy raise his voice. He was mad at his girlfriend for not being more pumped about the watches. I don’t remember exactly what he said but it was something along the lines of “How ungrateful of a bitch can you be? I bring you out here and buy you things and you can’t even tell me which watch looks best? This one’s good, so is this one and this one? So which is it then? You have no opinion you just nod and agree to whatever people say because you can’t think for yourself. You would be lost without me so the least you could do is give me what I want.”
Man, do I hate seeing this sort of thing. What happened to her in life to make her think she deserves this kind of relationship? I can’t even speak though because I’ve been there, done that. I so badly wanted to believe I can be the best I could in order to make the person I was with happy. I was constantly upsetting him like this girl was her boyfriend and I was desperately hoping one day I could be the one to make him happy. I rarely knew what I was doing wrong but he let me know when I was wrong and I quickly learnt “my lessons.”
You seriously become blinded when in a relationship like this and it’s so sad. And again, it was none of my business, I was just an outsider, making my opinion based off what I seen but man did I want to scream “Girl, he is NEVER going to change no matter how hard you try to please him there will ALWAYS be something else he has a problem with. You can never win and you are going to slowly kill yourself trying. Get the fuck out now! RUN as far as your little legs will take you!”
Instead I shut my mouth for right then and observed some more. The girl talked a lot quieter but I read her lips and heard most of what she said. “You’re right baby, I’m sorry. I like the silver one with blue trim the best. It suits you really well and looks expensive.” She forced a smile from her lips. I seen the pain deep within her eyes. Her shoulders slumped and her head went back down to stare at her feet.
“See was that so hard princess?” His tone was calmer, he even grinned from ear to ear. Can I drop kick you out a window my kind sir?
They purchase the watch and some other little things and then I hear her ask if she can look at the books for a minute.
He says “No we don’t have time for that. Plus you have enough books that you haven’t read. Read all the ones you have and we will talk about getting you some new ones. Let’s go.” He grabs her by the wrist again and starts pulling her in the direction he wants. They head towards the food stands. Hot dogs, poutines, Ice-cream, tacos, nothing special.
They go to the hot dog stand. I stand behind them in line. I dont think I have made eye contact with either of them yet so I was sure they wouldn’t notice I was following them pretty much. Let’s not call it that, makes me sound like a damn stalker weirdo which I’m not okay.
“2 jumbo dogs please.” He says.
The girl nudges his arm and whispers “I don’t like hotdogs.”
“Well, this is what we are getting. You need some meat on your bones anyway, you look like a damn skeleton. You think I want to take you to meet my parents next week looking like that? I’ll have to say you were under the weather or something.”
Oh-my-fucking-God. I wanted to snuff this guy so bad. I couldn’t even imagine the mental turmoil this girl goes through on the daily. I only seen about 30 minutes of their relationship and she had been put down multiple times. Also, she was wearing dark nylons under her dress and a cardigan as if she was trying to cover something up. It would surprise me more if this guy wasn’t physically abusive than if he was.
I was ready to put my two cents in, my blood was boiling. He didn’t deserve this girl, I wish so badly that she knew that. I made light of the situation at first. I said something along the lines of “Jeez, girl dont listen to him, you look great. In fact, I wish I had your body type. Too many of these bad boys and it catches up with ya real quick.” I pointed to the hot dog stand.
She smiled and was about to say something when he interrupted her. “Excuse me, do we know you? Can you mind your own business please.”
“Sorry, didn’t mean to intrude but it’s not hard to overhear when you are talking in such a loud voice as you demean your girlfriend as I am right behind you.” I said.
“Still, this is an A and B conversation, if I asked for your opinion then you can say something.” He said.
What are you, in fucking elementary school bud?
“You really aren’t the boss of me. It is a free country but sorry to bother you, won’t say anything else.” I said.
“That’s what I thought.” Then he mumbled bitch under his breath. HAHAHA, here we go bud.
“Excuse me? That’s what you thought? Who the fuck do you think you are? Look, I’m still talking, what are you gonna do? Cause you thought that I would comply and just shut up right? So what are you gonna do?”
I got him sooo angry and it worried me that he was going to take it out on his girl when they got home. I genuinely wish I kept my mouth shut. He was dumbfounded and didn’t know what to say. If we were alone he would be the “big man” and shut me up himself I’m sure, I could tell now that he was that sort of dude. He wanted to hit me so bad.
“Shut up bitch.” Was all he could come up with.
The girlfriend looked like she was crying. I faced her and said “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I’ve seen you guys around town (I lied) and it always seems as if he is 10 feet tall and you are 3. I just don’t know why you put up wi–” he interrupted me.
“I said shut up bitch!” He was livid.
I was pretty angry at this point too so I stupidly kept it going. Something about this guy triggered me. I was never able to stick up for myself when I was in the same position as this poor girl but now I had a voice and I could not hold back. Although, again a lot of people would say it wasn’t my place and it really wasn’t… but I was triggered and didn’t know how to stop at that point.
“Or what?! Are you gonna hit me? Are you gonna show me how to shut up? Why can’t I speak, because I’m a girl?” Maybe I secretly wanted him to hit me so he could go to jail for the night and the girl could maybe realize that she needs to run the fuck away? I don’t know what I was doing at the time but I know I was angry and felt like I could take on anyone.
People were watching us at that point. I wasn’t whispering or anything so I understand people may look our way. I didn’t care.
The girl touched my shoulder and said quietly “Trust me, just stop it’s not worth it.”
That proved it to me that she was scared of what he may do so my stupid self-decided to keep it going.
“Why? What are you afraid he’s going to do? I was originally just giving a quick remark on something awful I overheard him say, I did not do anything wrong and there is no reason for this man to be so angry right now. Look at you!” I pointed at his face “If it was possible you would be steaming at the ears right now. Why are you so angry?”
I was shocked he stayed quiet that whole time and let me speak. “Spoke on something that was none of your God damn business. If I want to tell my girlfriend that she needs to gain a few pounds I will. I don’t care that you have seen us around town, you know nothing now fuck off bitch.” He grabbed his hot dogs and his girlfriend’s wrist and started towards the parking lot.
He said something really angrily to his girlfriend. I assume it was something to let her know that she’s going to pay for this. I followed and yelled after her “Please don’t go home with him. I shouldn’t have said anything because now I know it’s only going to be worse on yo–” He turned around and interrupted.
“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DUMB CUNT!”
“OU, big man eh? Why don’t you take it out on me? Your girlfriend did nothing wrong.” Again, I don’t know what I was doing but all I knew at the time is I would do whatever I could so that the girl would not go home with him right then. I was terrified for what he would do to her while he seemed so angry.
He literally ran towards me and body checked me to the ground. The girl screamed. A crowd was there before he could do anymore. They restrained him, the cops were called, my goal was accomplished I guess?
I consoled the girl and told her again that I was sorry for saying anything. I asked her to sit with me for a minute, she agreed so, first I asked her what she actually liked to eat. She was starving and wanted tacos, I love tacos so we got a few each and sat at one of the picnic benches nearby.
We talked as we scarfed down our tacos. I tried to keep it casual but at the same time try to drill it in her head how this relationship would only kill her inside, that wasn’t worth it. Again, none of my business but I hated seeing this shit. It makes my blood boil just thinking of it and I won’t stop thinking about this now for weeks because that is how my brain works.
She told me she was just recently got out of an extremely abusive relationship and planned on going to therapy and getting back on her feet again when she met this new guy. Let’s call him Johnny. She said Johnny swept her off her feet and really was a prince charming at first she assumed he would solve all of her issues. He pulled her in and once she fell for him, he showed his true nature. She said they have only been together for 2 and a half months now and most of it has been hell. She has been planning on leaving him but is afraid and doesn’t know how.
I asked if she was close with her family or she had anyone she could confide in. She told me she lives with her mom right now while she saves some money and that they are close as can be. I told her what I wish I was told when I was in the same position. To tell someone you can trust, it makes it so much easier. It starts to feel more real and you feel less afraid to leave the situation you are in because someone you trust is also telling you what you know deep inside and keep brushing off: that you are worth more than this and in no way should you be putting up with it.
Plus buddy won’t be so tough when he comes around if he knows that others know about his coward acts. He knows that hitting someone smaller, weaker and more vulnerable than him is a coward move but because of the girl allowing it and never speaking up, he gains power. Power will be lost once the girl stands up for herself and no longer allows it.
She told me she would leave him and I genuinely believe her. I think she may have just needed a push. I hope so at least. The talk was short, I didn’t even get her name. We finished our tacos, grabbed a coke to wash them down, I gave her a lift home and drove my sore ass home.
When buddy knocked me to the ground, my tail bone hit the gravel path so hard. My adrenaline was still going so I didn’t feel the pain fully until I was home and putting away my pepporette sticks.
Now, I’m lounging on the couch with an ice pack and a heat pack, it’s only 4:45pm and I can say I am done for today. Goodnight folks.
